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Lonely in a crowded room: How shame isolates mothers

A few years ago, when I was newly postpartum with my third child, we took a family trip to the zoo on one of the first really nice summer days. The place was more crowded than usual, with lots of kids (and parents) relieved to finally be outside after a cold and rainy...

Why I love my anger

I’ve always been a person who runs hot, both physically and emotionally. I like my air conditioning cranked up high and I have BIG feelings. I’m quick to anger but also quick to move on. As a teen, my father and I would often have loud clashes – lots of yelling,...

Surviving the holidays with your boundaries intact

If there was ever a season that pushed for boundary violations, returns to toxic relationship dynamics, and heaps of guilt thrown at you when you deviate from unhealthy patterns, it’s now. This span of time, generally from Halloween until New Year’s Day, is RIPE for...

About those really scary thoughts you’ve been having, mama

I will never forget the day I had my first scary thought about my baby. My daughter, the youngest of my three children, was about 8 weeks old. She was born with a tongue and lip tie, and we’d recently had it revised, so we were following up with a pediatric...

Not a sustainable business model: A manifesto on modern motherhood

A good friend (who is also a mom and therapist) recently texted me asking what I thought of the depiction of motherhood in the book “The Giving Tree.” I hadn’t read it since I was a kid, so I didn’t remember any details and couldn’t give her a real answer. But I was...

Three things I let go of in my recovery from postpartum rage

My journey through postpartum anxiety and rage was a long and twisty one, as most women’s recoveries are. There were lots of starts and stops, things that seemed to be working and then didn’t, things I tried multiple times before they stuck, and many times I thought...

What does my recovery look like? It looks like this.

I decided last night while washing my face that I was going to throw away all of the rules I’d created for myself around my professional online presence. When I first started The Calm Mama Method and this blog, I spent a lot of time thinking about how much of my...

The Power of Limiting Beliefs

If you’ve spent much (or any) time in the manifestation/law-of-attraction world, you’ve likely heard of limiting beliefs. I’m not here today to discuss limiting beliefs in that context – though I find it fascinating and have been getting more and more into it lately....

When You Need a Time-Out: Managing Anxiety While Momming

Anxiety and I have been buddies for a very long time. When I was in kindergarten, my parents enrolled me in “Capable Kids,” a program for anxious kids, after my kindergarten teacher told them that I was so afraid of doing things incorrectly that I was basically...